Wednesday, August 27, 2014

What this move taught me: Stop Treading Water and Just Swim

Just like that, moving time is upon us once again; that all too familiar feeling of boxing up my stuff, tying up the loose ends of cable and electric companies, and trying to squeeze in as many farewell drinks and dinners and hug-me-quick-and-go-before-I-start-crying moments before we start a new life in a new place.

This week began the arduous pre-moving task of sorting my stuff and deciding what's worth keeping and what's not, as well as organizing the junk drawers and messy closets before the movers descend with their boxes and tape. While I was doing this I was vividly reminded of the move we did just six short months ago. Was it really time to do this all over again?

As I inventoried the crystal and pottery I bought in Germany, along with the other various knickknacks I picked up during our travels over the last few years, I wondered how I could replace them if something happened to them. 

These things are irreplaceable, just like the friends that I made there. The life that I lived there. The experiences I had. It made me sad to think that that period of my life in Germany, but it also made me realize I was sad that my time in Georgia was also coming to an end. That soon I would say goodbye to the new friends I'd made and the restaurants I'd grown to like and the routine I had.

Our past six months in Georgia have not been easy for me. I've had a lot of disappointments, I struggled to find my place and feel like I was doing something useful with my time. In a lot of ways, the past six months felt like treading water in the middle of the ocean, waiting for a direction to swim in. Now that I have a direction to swim in, it feels daunting. I finally have an answer to the question of "What next?" and I realize I'm actually kind of happy with the status quo.

Treading water is safe in its own way. Indecision is safe. You don't have to commit. You don't have to risk. You won't fail because you're not trying in the first place. 

But it's no way to live. More than anything, this move showed me I need to stop being overwhelmed by choices and just do something. Start somewhere. I won't be in my dream location and might not even find my dream job, but I can do something. 

I can swim!

So, despite getting knocked around by life in the last six months, I hope this move gives me some perspective for this next journey. 

1 comment :

  1. Interesting perspective. This post resonates with me, because I'm currently sorting and pre-packing for my own move back to the US. Analysis paralysis - that moment when you have so many choices that you can't decide which one to take- is something I can identify with all to well.