Wednesday, August 27, 2014

What this move taught me: Stop Treading Water and Just Swim

Just like that, moving time is upon us once again; that all too familiar feeling of boxing up my stuff, tying up the loose ends of cable and electric companies, and trying to squeeze in as many farewell drinks and dinners and hug-me-quick-and-go-before-I-start-crying moments before we start a new life in a new place.

This week began the arduous pre-moving task of sorting my stuff and deciding what's worth keeping and what's not, as well as organizing the junk drawers and messy closets before the movers descend with their boxes and tape. While I was doing this I was vividly reminded of the move we did just six short months ago. Was it really time to do this all over again?

As I inventoried the crystal and pottery I bought in Germany, along with the other various knickknacks I picked up during our travels over the last few years, I wondered how I could replace them if something happened to them. 

These things are irreplaceable, just like the friends that I made there. The life that I lived there. The experiences I had. It made me sad to think that that period of my life in Germany, but it also made me realize I was sad that my time in Georgia was also coming to an end. That soon I would say goodbye to the new friends I'd made and the restaurants I'd grown to like and the routine I had.

Our past six months in Georgia have not been easy for me. I've had a lot of disappointments, I struggled to find my place and feel like I was doing something useful with my time. In a lot of ways, the past six months felt like treading water in the middle of the ocean, waiting for a direction to swim in. Now that I have a direction to swim in, it feels daunting. I finally have an answer to the question of "What next?" and I realize I'm actually kind of happy with the status quo.

Treading water is safe in its own way. Indecision is safe. You don't have to commit. You don't have to risk. You won't fail because you're not trying in the first place. 

But it's no way to live. More than anything, this move showed me I need to stop being overwhelmed by choices and just do something. Start somewhere. I won't be in my dream location and might not even find my dream job, but I can do something. 

I can swim!

So, despite getting knocked around by life in the last six months, I hope this move gives me some perspective for this next journey. 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Life lately

My poor, neglected blog! The summer has not been kind to you! I know I've done a terrible job keeping the blog up to date, but y' life has been crazy lately. I can hardly believe that it's already August. The days just zoom right past.

I spent June in Hong Kong and Bali (I'm working on editing and blogging the zillions of pictures right now). Once I got back we were off to Florida, then I spent a week in Asheville, NC for an amazing Irish music camp (also working on that for the blog too!)

I came back from my music camp and got some devastating news-the job I had been so excited for fell through. Right on the heels of that bad news came the realization that our move to Texas is fast approaching (less than a month away!). With tons of stuff left to do to prepare for it, I just haven't had the time or the energy or the motivation to blog.

Besides the packed schedule, my heart just hasn't been in a place to blog. Moving is stressful enough, but organizing a move that you're dreading with your whole heart is another animal entirely. In the past month I've sat down so many times to work on the blog and stared at the blank screen. What do I write about? What can I say besides, "this sucks"?

This has been such a whirlwind of a year-moving from Germany, thinking we'd stay in Georgia, getting (unpleasantly) surprised by news of an assignment in Texas, planning a long distance move 6 months after moving's been a little nuts.